“Minji Minji” is a short phrase that gained popularity in Kenya in the run-up to the August 8th, 2017 elections. It originated from a popular old-skul music show by the famed Kikuyu radio presenter, Kamau Kangethe. In strict translation, Minji is a popular legume in Kenyan Cuisine. The legume is plucked while still young and green, just after the seeds in the pods are fully developed. They are soft and sweet.
In loose translation, and street use, Minji Minji means young girl – very young or generally way below the age of the male partner. Minjis have juvenile just-formed breasts that barely fill the cups of their size B bras. Men want to have an early feel of these tea-cup-sized breasts. Their skin has a glow to it, and most are a beautiful brown in complexion. Minji Minji’s perfectly shaped rear bumpers jiggle and jaggle as the Minjis catwalk around the estates!
Talking about walking, if she is alone she has most likely been sent to the shop. If they are in a group (also called formation), they are most likely out for a leisure walk. Their formations have one very beautiful one, the start of the team, and the rest range from beautiful, moderately beautiful, acceptable etc, all the way to outright not-to-be-seen-with! However, that is a story for another day.
Peak Minji-Harvest Seasons
Back to our topic; it is the loose translation and street use that we are writing about. In earlier days, we used to say ‘shortcut into the mini-skirt’ when referring to getting between a girl’s legs. Today, we call it shortcut into the Minji skirt. Our young sisters and daughters are under threat. Every man on the street wants to have a taste of these Minjis!
School holiday breaks are the peak seasons for harvesting Minjis. After being cooped up in boarding schools for months, the girls want to enjoy their bout of freedom. They are also very willing and readily showcase their looks devoid of ugly school uniform frocks.
It is due to a combination of these factors that we undertook a small survey. Our findings at Nestwebia show that there is an increase in the number of BodaBoda guys (transporters who use motorcycles for business) taking their ‘machines’ for servicing.
They are converting the motorcycles into mini-driving schools where they purport to teach Minjis how to ride motorcycles. Two things about teaching these hormone-full girls how to be riders of two-wheeled motored machines (also called Nduthi) drive cold arrows down your spine.
- Mikono ya kairetu iko forward, straight, na hakaeziachilia handlebars za nduthi. Seated behind the Minji, kijamaa cha boda kiko na full access to the girl’s dashboard and surrounding environs. Nyege huwa zinaishia hapa. Some adventurous naughty ones let a hand slip to between the girl’s legs! Kangura! Nione mmoja akiambia my form 3 sister ati anamfunza kuendesha pikipiki. I will castrate him and his motorcycle too.
- At the same time, huku nyuma there is full contact between his groin and the innocent skul-gal’s bum. By default, hard-ons ensue. Reliable sources inform us that the grinding of groins that ensues is to blame for the shortage of virgin girls nowadays.
Minji Protection, Countermeasures and Concealment
Our survey went further to find evasion and cover tactics. We consulted a few village elders and parents who have Minjis in their houses. Most suffered an initial shock after we revealed to them what was happening, or likely to happen to their school-going offspring. After the initial shock, they became quickly creative and proposed two countermeasures.
Protecting your daughter or sister from Bodaboda guys
- Huyo msichana asijue kuendesha baiskeli. If you are a father and was contemplating buying your daughter a bicycle, please wacha. If she cannot balance a simple bike, she will generally be afraid of hopping onto the motorbike’s ‘driver’ position. Hata the bodaboda guy will not be in a hurry to put her at the helm of his source of income.
- Inform, educate, and continuously remind Nduthi riders that school-galz are jailbait. Drive fear into them, wakae kando. Tell the Nduthi guys to stay away from Minji Minjis at all costs. Initial trials proved successful in 3 estates. There is however need for a larger, more organized and coordinated campaign. We are fundraising for such a campaign. Donations are welcome.
The third countermeasure is after an internal brainstorm at Nestwebia. We strongly suggest that you confiscate the cellphones of the young females under your jurisdiction. Bodaboda fellas are reaching these girls in message chats and late-night phone calls! If they do not want this, let them follow a strict digital-gadgets use policy that you will come up with.
As we uncover more methods of protecting Minjis, we will update you. However, there is still a threat to our sisters that we have not investigated. In our radar of investigations are broke village graduates and young horny men on Mountain Bikes. These are a uniquely different category of Minji-Threat altogether.